Another year gone... I have to say I am happy to see 2012 end and I am so ready for 2013. Here it is... my year:
January:
Nate and I broke up after Nate didn't think it was going to work. Went to visit family in Utah for a few days. BYU basketball game, shopping, time away.
February:
Lots of church basketball. Busy being Relief Society President. Went to Boise for the state basketball tournament. Watched Middleton girls win again. 'Extra' Day at work for Leap Year.
March:
Relief Society sleepover at the Hayden's. Skiing at Kelly Canyon with Erin. Skiing again at Kelly Canyon with Erin, Trent and Kendra. Started being friends with Gabe Rodriguez.
April:
Turned 27. Had a bonfire with friends in my backyard the night before with my new fire pit from friends. Waffles for breakfast and watched conference. Trent gets married in Utah to Jess. Summoned to Jury Duty for the first time but never had to actually go in.
May:
Sasha moved out and Aralee Smith moved in. Went to Logan to go to the temple with Jake as he went through for the first time. Bonfire at the Hayden's. Released from being the Relief Society President of the 5th ward. Night Fishing at the pond. Girl's weekend in Park City with Mom, Karissa and Janiece. Lots of talking, lots of laughing, hot tub, outlet mall, walks, runs, yummy food. Hike Cherry Springs. Hike Scout Mountain. Dutch over dinner in the backyard (5-9). Ran in the Great Idaho Potato half Marathon in Boise with Devin. That makes 3. My ward got reorganized and I was moved to the 4th ward. Jake left on his mission.
June:
Tori Miller's birthday party in my backyard. Fishing at Weston reservoir. More fishing at the pond. Got called to be the Visiting Teaching Coordinator. Talked to Nate, things haven't changed. Gabe tells me he has feelings for me, I have to tell him I don't.
July:
4th of July in Middleton with Sarah Ingalls and Gabe. Floating the Boise river, BBQ, Sarah wrecks out Jet skis when she hits Kendra and me, Middleton Firework show. Drove to Burley for old roommate Amanda's baby shower. Went to Jackson Hole for the first time with Amy, Ben and Jodi. Went to Salt Lake with Amy and Cassie to celebrate Amy's 30th birthday. Temple Square, City Creek Mall, the Cheesecake Factory, Salt Lake Bees Baseball game, stayed with Trent and Jess, Pioneer day parade, Utah's Hogle Zoo. Party for Amy in the backyard. Bought a new car, 2005 Acura TSX. Kicked roommate Erika out of my house at the end of the month.
August:
Catherine Rider moves in. Clark Limb family reunion at the Church camp on Cascade Lake. Card games, joke telling, jet skiing, swimming in life jackets, sand castles, playing with nieces and nephews, canoeing. Sold my first car I ever owned, my Saturn. Wrote a letter to Nate and had a final conversation of him telling me he still thinks we shouldn't be together. We aren't really even friends anymore.
September:
1 year anniversary at Idaho Central Credit Union. Went to Utah for Janiece's birthday. Family brunch, shuffle board, fun talking and laughing. Got to spend time with Jordan Munns. Jenn Mecham comes back and stays the night. Went to my first ISU football game. Went to a ward dinner and felt terribly out of place. Went to Pocatello's Farmer's market. Janiece and Connor came. Sold their car for them after it broke down and we had to tow it the rest of the way to my house.
October:
Trip to Oregon with Amy! Left Wednesday after work, went to Boise, drove to Oregon on Thursday. Multnomah Falls, Applebees, Portland Temple, Staying with the Livingstons, Seaside, Cannon Beach, Lunch at Fultanos, General Conference, Portland's Saturday's Market, exploring downtown, visiting Memorial Park, Woodburn Outlets, Wendy and Sam's amazing breakfasts, more Conference on the drive home. Joined Younique. 2nd Annual Pumpkin party success! Went to visit Cassie in Twin Falls. Went to pizza, talked, watched movies, ran the worst 11 miles of my life, went to Target.
November:
Party with work at Outer Limits to play laser tag and miniature golf. Ran in the Just Cuz Half Marathon in Pocatello. That makes 4. Aralee moved out to go back to Arkansas and Catherine moved upstairs. Boise temple dedication. Thanksgiving at home with Kendra and Devin's family. Went to ISU Women's basketball games.
December:
Work Christmas party at The Mystique to attend the dinner theater. Got released from my calling and was called to be the ward chorister. Decorated for Christmas. Went home Friday before Christmas with the whole family, minus Jenica. Saturday was full of doing hair, working on Christmas gifts, bowling, jump roping and volleyball at the church. Sunday church and games and then driving home to work. Monday work for 5 hours, then drive back to Boise for Christmas Ever fun of good food, games and family time. Crazy Christmas day with lots of gifts and fun. Talked to Jenica on Skype. Snowman building, snow angels, crafts.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Two Thousand Eleven
I seriously cannot believe its already time to do this again. This year has been such a whirlwind. Time for another look back on the year...
January:
Continued coaching the JV basketball team. My team kept losing. Set New Year's resolutions for the first time in a long time. Got started on getting everything organized with the Relief Society.
February:
Finished a rough basketball season. Watched Kendra win her second in a row State Championship! Starting doing Insanity after work with Holly Morris and Katie Hazah. Started training for a half marathon.
March:
Still doing Insanity after work and loving getting in shape. Started making the decision that I wanted to look for a new job. Got to help one of my new best friends, Catherine Rider, make it home to be with her family after her grandfather passed away. My basement leaked when we had so much snow and I had a small mental breakdown.
April:
Turned 26. Had a quiet birthday shopping by myself and having friends come over to give me a joke toilet paper cake. Catherine decided that she wouldn't be living at my house for the summer. My ward got reorganized and some of my closest friends were moved out of the ward including Catherine, my 2nd counselor, and her roommates.
May:
Ran in the Famous Idaho Potato half Marathon along with my whole family running in one of the races that day. Officially resigned from my job of being a math teacher at American Falls High School. Even though there are a few students I will miss I beyond happy with my decision. Left work and drove straight to Kendra's high school graduation only to wake up at 3:00 am to make it back to work the next day. Finished my third year of teaching and loaded up my classroom and took everything home.
June:
Summer break begins. Sew a quilt. Start hanging out everyday with Nate and Thomas. Go home for a week to hang out with family. Limb Family Reunion at Lake Walcott. Ward campout at the Haydens. Went to Boise to go to the temple with Cassie to receive her endowment.
July:
Went to visit Catherine on the 4th. Went to a parade. Ate good food. Watched the Pocatello 4th of July Fireworks. Had picnic in the park after church. Watched the last Harry Potter movie on opening day. CALIFORNIA! Only hours after deciding to go we (Me, Cassie, Nate and Thomas)left to drive through the night to California. Stayed two nights with Thomas's aunt and uncle and a night with Lynn and Val. Went to the beach, swam in the ocean, soaked up the sun, laughed til I cried, played truth or dare, had the best week of the summer. Swimming in the river.
August:
Started looking for a new job. Applied to probably over 25 jobs online. Took my resume around to lots of different business. Applied to Idaho Central Credit Union. Got a first interview, second interview, third interview, and finally a job offer! Cassie was offered and accepted a job at Twin Falls High School. Started dating the best guy ever, Nathan Capps, after hanging out with him almost every day this summer.
September:
Visited Utah and home for the few days before starting my NEW JOB at Idaho Central Credit Union. Went to Logan, Utah to go on a spur of the moment hike with Catherine. Started settling in to new routine and a new life. Still dating Nate, things are going well.
October:
Went to Utah for Conference with people from my ward. Spent the rest of the weekend with my family and helped celebrate Zeke's birthday. Went with Nate to his parent's house to be there for his Dad's new calling. Went on a quick trip to Boise with Nate and Thomas to watch Thomas's little sister run in the state cross country meet, stayed at my parent's house. Dressed up as Richard Simmons sweatin to the oldies with my department at work for Halloween. Went to a ward FHE on Halloween. Falling for Nate...
November:
Kendra and her roommate Chelsie come to visit. We play games and eat good food and have so much fun. Buy a new awesome Camera! Spent Thanksgiving with my family at my parent's house. Went bowling, played hockey, ate way too much delicious food.
December:
Work Christmas Murder Mystery Dinner Party. Get sick and spend my first half day off of work at home sick. Don't stop coughing for over a week. Graham cracker gingerbread houses, amazing finals feast dinner. Leave work early to go home for Christmas. Fun with Mom, Dad, Devin, Cortney, Trent and Kendra for Christmas. Nate comes the day after Christmas. Games, movies, bowling, watching basketball.
I seriously cannot believe how much my life has changed this year. I think that almost every aspect as had a major change in one way or another. I have been so grateful for all of the blessings and opportunities that I have had this year. 2011 has been great!
January:
Continued coaching the JV basketball team. My team kept losing. Set New Year's resolutions for the first time in a long time. Got started on getting everything organized with the Relief Society.
February:
Finished a rough basketball season. Watched Kendra win her second in a row State Championship! Starting doing Insanity after work with Holly Morris and Katie Hazah. Started training for a half marathon.
March:
Still doing Insanity after work and loving getting in shape. Started making the decision that I wanted to look for a new job. Got to help one of my new best friends, Catherine Rider, make it home to be with her family after her grandfather passed away. My basement leaked when we had so much snow and I had a small mental breakdown.
April:
Turned 26. Had a quiet birthday shopping by myself and having friends come over to give me a joke toilet paper cake. Catherine decided that she wouldn't be living at my house for the summer. My ward got reorganized and some of my closest friends were moved out of the ward including Catherine, my 2nd counselor, and her roommates.
May:
Ran in the Famous Idaho Potato half Marathon along with my whole family running in one of the races that day. Officially resigned from my job of being a math teacher at American Falls High School. Even though there are a few students I will miss I beyond happy with my decision. Left work and drove straight to Kendra's high school graduation only to wake up at 3:00 am to make it back to work the next day. Finished my third year of teaching and loaded up my classroom and took everything home.
June:
Summer break begins. Sew a quilt. Start hanging out everyday with Nate and Thomas. Go home for a week to hang out with family. Limb Family Reunion at Lake Walcott. Ward campout at the Haydens. Went to Boise to go to the temple with Cassie to receive her endowment.
July:
Went to visit Catherine on the 4th. Went to a parade. Ate good food. Watched the Pocatello 4th of July Fireworks. Had picnic in the park after church. Watched the last Harry Potter movie on opening day. CALIFORNIA! Only hours after deciding to go we (Me, Cassie, Nate and Thomas)left to drive through the night to California. Stayed two nights with Thomas's aunt and uncle and a night with Lynn and Val. Went to the beach, swam in the ocean, soaked up the sun, laughed til I cried, played truth or dare, had the best week of the summer. Swimming in the river.
August:
Started looking for a new job. Applied to probably over 25 jobs online. Took my resume around to lots of different business. Applied to Idaho Central Credit Union. Got a first interview, second interview, third interview, and finally a job offer! Cassie was offered and accepted a job at Twin Falls High School. Started dating the best guy ever, Nathan Capps, after hanging out with him almost every day this summer.
September:
Visited Utah and home for the few days before starting my NEW JOB at Idaho Central Credit Union. Went to Logan, Utah to go on a spur of the moment hike with Catherine. Started settling in to new routine and a new life. Still dating Nate, things are going well.
October:
Went to Utah for Conference with people from my ward. Spent the rest of the weekend with my family and helped celebrate Zeke's birthday. Went with Nate to his parent's house to be there for his Dad's new calling. Went on a quick trip to Boise with Nate and Thomas to watch Thomas's little sister run in the state cross country meet, stayed at my parent's house. Dressed up as Richard Simmons sweatin to the oldies with my department at work for Halloween. Went to a ward FHE on Halloween. Falling for Nate...
November:
Kendra and her roommate Chelsie come to visit. We play games and eat good food and have so much fun. Buy a new awesome Camera! Spent Thanksgiving with my family at my parent's house. Went bowling, played hockey, ate way too much delicious food.
December:
Work Christmas Murder Mystery Dinner Party. Get sick and spend my first half day off of work at home sick. Don't stop coughing for over a week. Graham cracker gingerbread houses, amazing finals feast dinner. Leave work early to go home for Christmas. Fun with Mom, Dad, Devin, Cortney, Trent and Kendra for Christmas. Nate comes the day after Christmas. Games, movies, bowling, watching basketball.
I seriously cannot believe how much my life has changed this year. I think that almost every aspect as had a major change in one way or another. I have been so grateful for all of the blessings and opportunities that I have had this year. 2011 has been great!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
emotional whirlwind
There are so many things going on in my life right now that I feel like I should write about. I don't know if I will be able to get through them all right now but I'm going to get started.
Yesterday Cassie accepted a job to go and teach in Twin Falls. She is moving next week. This was so unexpected and all happened so fast. It is going to be good for her. She gets paid for student teaching, she gets to have her own classroom, and then when she graduates in December she will have a full time job. She hasn't been as happy here as she could be and I think that it will be good for her to be around her sister and her brother's family. But, I am so so sad she is leaving. I didn't have time to prepare. It caught me off guard. I am going to miss her so so much. Last night I was over at Nate's house watching a movie and it just hit me that when I go home she wasn't going to be there. No, she hasn't moved yet but she is out of town but I realized that soon she won't be there. When I am home, that won't be her home. She is moving on. Yes, i am happy for her but I am just going to be sad about it for a while. I actually don't even want to start thinking about it all right now so that's all I am going to say about it for now. Maybe I'll write more about my thoughts another time. I just know that Cassie is and will remain my best friend and for that I am so grateful.
Yesterday was a a whirlwind of a day. All of this happened with Cassie and then more happened. I came home from FHE and decided that I wanted to watch The Kid. I ended up going over to Nate's house to watch it with a few people that were over there. I was crying a lot during the movie. But I don't think that anyone noticed. Nate came and sat by me when he was done doing some stuff he had to do. I think it was pretty obvious that something was wrong with me. It was nice to just lay there and have him sitting close next to me. When the movie was over and it was time to go Nate said he would walk me home instead of me going with Jared and Jake. On the walk home he asked me about Cassie leaving and we talked about that a little and some other things. When he got to my house he walked up to the steps with me. He told me sorry about Cassie leaving and put his arm out to give me a hug. I admit I went in and probably hugged him harder than he was expecting but I really felt like I needed a hug and it felt so good for him to hug me. I just stayed there for a while and it really did make me feel better. After a while he told me that he had planned on coming over early so that we could talk about some things but that he was leaving for work in the morning and wasn't coming back until Thursday so we could talk then or if I wanted we could just talk then. I seriously considered telling him that if it wasn't going to make me happy then I couldn't handle it right then. But, I just asked him if he wanted to sit down. So we sat down on the steps and we sat there for a second and then he finally started talking and he said well Tyleen, I like you. So I sat there for a second and then I grabbed his arm and put my head on his shoulder for a while. It seriously felt so comfortable. Then I asked him if he knew I felt the same way. He just smiled at me and said he did. We talked about some other things and just sat there by each other and kind of held hands and were just finally close to each other after I've been feeling like I wanted that for so long. It felt soooo good to sit there with him. And it feels so good to not wonder what he is feeling anymore. He told me that I didn't need to be confused anymore. I asked him if he had any idea how confusing it had been. He just laughed and said no. After a little bit I told him he should go because he had to leave at 5:30 this morning for work. He gave me another hug and then he left. So he is in Bear Lake right now for work and is either coming back tomorrow or Thursday. And I actually miss him. Lots. I just wish that now that I know what is going on we could be around each other. I know he will be back soon and I am so glad. I like him. A lot. More than I have liked anyone in a really really long time. It is kind of scary for me to put myself out there like this but he is worth it. Everything I know about him so far is good. He is a really good guy. So I guess right now things are good and I just have to wait and see what's going to happen. But, things are good. I am happy.
I still don't have a job. My last paycheck comes on Friday. I am stressed about it when I think about it. But, I still feel like things are going to work out and be ok somehow. Hopefully I will find one soon so I don't have to stress anymore. I just need to get some more motivation to get out there and do something.
Yesterday Cassie accepted a job to go and teach in Twin Falls. She is moving next week. This was so unexpected and all happened so fast. It is going to be good for her. She gets paid for student teaching, she gets to have her own classroom, and then when she graduates in December she will have a full time job. She hasn't been as happy here as she could be and I think that it will be good for her to be around her sister and her brother's family. But, I am so so sad she is leaving. I didn't have time to prepare. It caught me off guard. I am going to miss her so so much. Last night I was over at Nate's house watching a movie and it just hit me that when I go home she wasn't going to be there. No, she hasn't moved yet but she is out of town but I realized that soon she won't be there. When I am home, that won't be her home. She is moving on. Yes, i am happy for her but I am just going to be sad about it for a while. I actually don't even want to start thinking about it all right now so that's all I am going to say about it for now. Maybe I'll write more about my thoughts another time. I just know that Cassie is and will remain my best friend and for that I am so grateful.
Yesterday was a a whirlwind of a day. All of this happened with Cassie and then more happened. I came home from FHE and decided that I wanted to watch The Kid. I ended up going over to Nate's house to watch it with a few people that were over there. I was crying a lot during the movie. But I don't think that anyone noticed. Nate came and sat by me when he was done doing some stuff he had to do. I think it was pretty obvious that something was wrong with me. It was nice to just lay there and have him sitting close next to me. When the movie was over and it was time to go Nate said he would walk me home instead of me going with Jared and Jake. On the walk home he asked me about Cassie leaving and we talked about that a little and some other things. When he got to my house he walked up to the steps with me. He told me sorry about Cassie leaving and put his arm out to give me a hug. I admit I went in and probably hugged him harder than he was expecting but I really felt like I needed a hug and it felt so good for him to hug me. I just stayed there for a while and it really did make me feel better. After a while he told me that he had planned on coming over early so that we could talk about some things but that he was leaving for work in the morning and wasn't coming back until Thursday so we could talk then or if I wanted we could just talk then. I seriously considered telling him that if it wasn't going to make me happy then I couldn't handle it right then. But, I just asked him if he wanted to sit down. So we sat down on the steps and we sat there for a second and then he finally started talking and he said well Tyleen, I like you. So I sat there for a second and then I grabbed his arm and put my head on his shoulder for a while. It seriously felt so comfortable. Then I asked him if he knew I felt the same way. He just smiled at me and said he did. We talked about some other things and just sat there by each other and kind of held hands and were just finally close to each other after I've been feeling like I wanted that for so long. It felt soooo good to sit there with him. And it feels so good to not wonder what he is feeling anymore. He told me that I didn't need to be confused anymore. I asked him if he had any idea how confusing it had been. He just laughed and said no. After a little bit I told him he should go because he had to leave at 5:30 this morning for work. He gave me another hug and then he left. So he is in Bear Lake right now for work and is either coming back tomorrow or Thursday. And I actually miss him. Lots. I just wish that now that I know what is going on we could be around each other. I know he will be back soon and I am so glad. I like him. A lot. More than I have liked anyone in a really really long time. It is kind of scary for me to put myself out there like this but he is worth it. Everything I know about him so far is good. He is a really good guy. So I guess right now things are good and I just have to wait and see what's going to happen. But, things are good. I am happy.
I still don't have a job. My last paycheck comes on Friday. I am stressed about it when I think about it. But, I still feel like things are going to work out and be ok somehow. Hopefully I will find one soon so I don't have to stress anymore. I just need to get some more motivation to get out there and do something.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Day #7
Post your favorite movie, TV show, band and food.
Favorite Movie:
The Kid
Seriously the best movie ever made. I will never get sick of watching this movie.
TV Show:
Friends
Yes, I have watched every single episode probably more than once. It is just so funny and makes me so happy.
Band:
I don't really have a favorite. I really like Death Cab for Cutie. It is one I always fall back to.
Food:
My favorite dinner is chicken broccoli casserole. My favorite dessert is ice cream, brownies and fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. My favorite candy is skittles.
Favorite Movie:
The Kid
Seriously the best movie ever made. I will never get sick of watching this movie.
TV Show:
Friends
Yes, I have watched every single episode probably more than once. It is just so funny and makes me so happy.
Band:
I don't really have a favorite. I really like Death Cab for Cutie. It is one I always fall back to.
Food:
My favorite dinner is chicken broccoli casserole. My favorite dessert is ice cream, brownies and fresh baked chocolate chip cookies. My favorite candy is skittles.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Day #6
Tell us about your pets, the ones you've had and lost.
When I was little we got a dog from my grandparents neighbors. We named her Sandy after the dog in the movie Annie. She was a little mutt. She was kind of a weird dog but we loved her. She lived in the garage and in the backyard. We should have played with her more but I guess we just didn't for some reason.
The dog that my family has now is named Penny. And she is the cutest. I wanted to put a picture on here but I can't find one even though I know I have lots. I really think that this dog has been therapeutic for my family. We got her shortly after Devin's divorce and she healed us. She knew when someone needed her and she just stayed with them until they felt better. I love that little penners and I am so glad that she is a part of our family.
When I was little we got a dog from my grandparents neighbors. We named her Sandy after the dog in the movie Annie. She was a little mutt. She was kind of a weird dog but we loved her. She lived in the garage and in the backyard. We should have played with her more but I guess we just didn't for some reason.
The dog that my family has now is named Penny. And she is the cutest. I wanted to put a picture on here but I can't find one even though I know I have lots. I really think that this dog has been therapeutic for my family. We got her shortly after Devin's divorce and she healed us. She knew when someone needed her and she just stayed with them until they felt better. I love that little penners and I am so glad that she is a part of our family.
Friday, July 1, 2011
Day #5
A picture of somewhere you've been to
Two summers ago, after my first year of teaching, I decided I wanted to go on a big trip to celebrate finishing the year and finally making money. I went and spent 3 weeks in Hawaii. It was so much fun and was just what I wanted. Here are a few pictures from my trip.
Here is a picture of the sunset on Sunset beach. Soul Soothing.
This was the last time I was on the beach on my favorite beach we went to.
I could jump off of this rock all day every day. Now if only I could stop being such a wimp and not plug my nose!
Love this beach. I still dream about being there on a regular basis.
Two summers ago, after my first year of teaching, I decided I wanted to go on a big trip to celebrate finishing the year and finally making money. I went and spent 3 weeks in Hawaii. It was so much fun and was just what I wanted. Here are a few pictures from my trip.
Here is a picture of the sunset on Sunset beach. Soul Soothing.
This was the last time I was on the beach on my favorite beach we went to.
I could jump off of this rock all day every day. Now if only I could stop being such a wimp and not plug my nose!
Love this beach. I still dream about being there on a regular basis.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Day #4
10 Likes and 10 Dislikes
Likes:
1. Laughing
2. The mountains
3. The beach
4. Being sweaty from a good workout
5. Chocolate Chip Cookies
6. Heavy blankets that push me into my bed at night
7. Skittles
8. Netflix and Hulu
9. Soul soothing music
10. Painted fingernails and toenails
Dislikes:
1. Lies
2. Beans
3. Getting wet or dirty in my clothes
4. Scary movies
5. Being chased
6. Being forced to do something
7. Whining
8. Cold Feet
9. Being disappointed
10. When things break
Likes:
1. Laughing
2. The mountains
3. The beach
4. Being sweaty from a good workout
5. Chocolate Chip Cookies
6. Heavy blankets that push me into my bed at night
7. Skittles
8. Netflix and Hulu
9. Soul soothing music
10. Painted fingernails and toenails
Dislikes:
1. Lies
2. Beans
3. Getting wet or dirty in my clothes
4. Scary movies
5. Being chased
6. Being forced to do something
7. Whining
8. Cold Feet
9. Being disappointed
10. When things break
Friday, June 17, 2011
Day #3
A Picture of you and your friends:
I don't know which friends to put a picture of so I am going to be putting more than one!
This is a picture from my sisters wedding of some of the friends that I grew up with. There was a group of us of about 15-20 that grew up together and had so much fun. I seriously don't know how I would have survived growing up without all of them.
These are my two roommates that I lived with for the first 2 years that I lived in Pocatello. I am so glad that I was able to find them and have such good people to live with. Moving here was so scary because I didn't know anyone. These two girls helped me turn this place into home. I am beyond grateful for them.
This is Cassie. My best friend. I don't know what to say about her other than she is the best friend that I have ever had and my life would not be the same if she wasn't in it. She has helped me through so many things and I know that we are going to be friends forever.
And last but not least, my family. The best family anyone could ever ask for. They are some of my best friends and I am so glad that they are stuck with me forever.
I don't know which friends to put a picture of so I am going to be putting more than one!
This is a picture from my sisters wedding of some of the friends that I grew up with. There was a group of us of about 15-20 that grew up together and had so much fun. I seriously don't know how I would have survived growing up without all of them.
These are my two roommates that I lived with for the first 2 years that I lived in Pocatello. I am so glad that I was able to find them and have such good people to live with. Moving here was so scary because I didn't know anyone. These two girls helped me turn this place into home. I am beyond grateful for them.
This is Cassie. My best friend. I don't know what to say about her other than she is the best friend that I have ever had and my life would not be the same if she wasn't in it. She has helped me through so many things and I know that we are going to be friends forever.
And last but not least, my family. The best family anyone could ever ask for. They are some of my best friends and I am so glad that they are stuck with me forever.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Day #2
Write about your relationship status:
This is a hard one to write about mostly because there is a simple answer. I am single. So why does that make this hard? Because I don't want to be single. I don't like that I am single. I long for the day that I am not single. And, I don't even see an end in sight to this singledom that I have going on.
It is a strange thing to go through this much of my life alone. Never in any of my dreaming about what life would be like as I got older did I think that I would make it to 26 without being married. I know 26 is not very old, I know that in the end everything will be worked out and I will be happier than I could ever imagine, but right now, its hard to see that. Some days, either when things are going great or things are going horrible, all I wish for is someone to share everything with. For someone to know what I know and to help me or enjoy things with me. I don't want to go on and on and on about why I don't like being single because that doesn't help anything. Believe me, I've tried it. But I will say this... whatever guy I do eventually end up with better be pretty dang amazing and love me more than I can even imagine!
With all of that being said... I do have a little crush going on. Not anything I want to share or write about but it is nice to know that there are guys that exist that are like what I am looking for. Who knows what will or won't happen. But, it is slightly exciting nonetheless.
This is a hard one to write about mostly because there is a simple answer. I am single. So why does that make this hard? Because I don't want to be single. I don't like that I am single. I long for the day that I am not single. And, I don't even see an end in sight to this singledom that I have going on.
It is a strange thing to go through this much of my life alone. Never in any of my dreaming about what life would be like as I got older did I think that I would make it to 26 without being married. I know 26 is not very old, I know that in the end everything will be worked out and I will be happier than I could ever imagine, but right now, its hard to see that. Some days, either when things are going great or things are going horrible, all I wish for is someone to share everything with. For someone to know what I know and to help me or enjoy things with me. I don't want to go on and on and on about why I don't like being single because that doesn't help anything. Believe me, I've tried it. But I will say this... whatever guy I do eventually end up with better be pretty dang amazing and love me more than I can even imagine!
With all of that being said... I do have a little crush going on. Not anything I want to share or write about but it is nice to know that there are guys that exist that are like what I am looking for. Who knows what will or won't happen. But, it is slightly exciting nonetheless.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Day #1
Post a picture of yourself and 10 facts about yourself:
I know the picture is kind of grainy looking but its the best I have for now. I don't have any pictures of just me I realized so I quickly took one with my webcam. This is me on a normal day without any extra effort put into how I look. I figure its good to document an everyday look for myself. And, now I have a picture that kind of shows the sweet tie dye shirt I made this weekend with Catherine.
And now for the facts about myself in no particular order of importance:
1. The members of my family are the most important people in the world to me. I am the middle child of seven. I have 2 parents, 2 brothers, 4 sisters, 2 brother in laws, 1 sister in law, 2 nephews, and 2 nieces. There is no one I would rather be with in the entire world than with my family. They are my best friends and I am so glad that I get to be with them for eternity.
2. I love skittles, ice cream, fresh warm chocolate chip cookies, anything chocolate and peanut butter, and apparently I have a problem staying away from eating junk food.
3. In the past 4 years I have moved 7 times. I now live in my own house where I have lived for the past year and I love it here.
4. I recently quit my job of the last 3 years and currently do not have a plan of what I am going to do next. Although scary, it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.
5. I would much rather have a small group of extremely close friends that I get to do everything with as opposed to knowing a bunch of different people that I have shallow relationships with.
6. I would do anything for the people that I love. I would go anywhere, anytime, to be there for important events or if they needed me for even the smallest reason. Sometimes, this has been a cause of pain for me because I can care too much and it ends up coming around and biting me in the butt but I wouldn't have it any other way.
7. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. There is nothing more important to me in the entire world than knowing that I have a Heavenly Father and Brother who want nothing more than my happiness and have given me the true gospel to learn, live and love here on earth.
8. I am happiest when I can lay in my bed at night completely exhausted because my day has been full of fun, busy activities, good friends, lots of laughing, and pure happiness.
9. Growing up in Oregon left a little bit of hippiness in me. I like the easy going carefree attitude that hippies can have. I feel like I was always meant to live somewhere on the beach where I was tan and didn't have to do my hair and could be barefoot and happy all day every day and swim in the ocean whenever I wanted.
10. I don't like getting dirty or wet when I am not prepared, I don't like being chased, and I don't like watching scary movies. But mostly, I don't like feeling betrayed or lied to.
I know the picture is kind of grainy looking but its the best I have for now. I don't have any pictures of just me I realized so I quickly took one with my webcam. This is me on a normal day without any extra effort put into how I look. I figure its good to document an everyday look for myself. And, now I have a picture that kind of shows the sweet tie dye shirt I made this weekend with Catherine.
And now for the facts about myself in no particular order of importance:
1. The members of my family are the most important people in the world to me. I am the middle child of seven. I have 2 parents, 2 brothers, 4 sisters, 2 brother in laws, 1 sister in law, 2 nephews, and 2 nieces. There is no one I would rather be with in the entire world than with my family. They are my best friends and I am so glad that I get to be with them for eternity.
2. I love skittles, ice cream, fresh warm chocolate chip cookies, anything chocolate and peanut butter, and apparently I have a problem staying away from eating junk food.
3. In the past 4 years I have moved 7 times. I now live in my own house where I have lived for the past year and I love it here.
4. I recently quit my job of the last 3 years and currently do not have a plan of what I am going to do next. Although scary, it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.
5. I would much rather have a small group of extremely close friends that I get to do everything with as opposed to knowing a bunch of different people that I have shallow relationships with.
6. I would do anything for the people that I love. I would go anywhere, anytime, to be there for important events or if they needed me for even the smallest reason. Sometimes, this has been a cause of pain for me because I can care too much and it ends up coming around and biting me in the butt but I wouldn't have it any other way.
7. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. There is nothing more important to me in the entire world than knowing that I have a Heavenly Father and Brother who want nothing more than my happiness and have given me the true gospel to learn, live and love here on earth.
8. I am happiest when I can lay in my bed at night completely exhausted because my day has been full of fun, busy activities, good friends, lots of laughing, and pure happiness.
9. Growing up in Oregon left a little bit of hippiness in me. I like the easy going carefree attitude that hippies can have. I feel like I was always meant to live somewhere on the beach where I was tan and didn't have to do my hair and could be barefoot and happy all day every day and swim in the ocean whenever I wanted.
10. I don't like getting dirty or wet when I am not prepared, I don't like being chased, and I don't like watching scary movies. But mostly, I don't like feeling betrayed or lied to.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Blog Challenge
I want to write more often on here so I decided to do a 30 day blog challenge. I am not saying that I am going to write on here every day for 30 days but I am going to eventually finish going through this list. There are only a couple of topics that I think are stupid at the end so I might change a few but for the most part, I really like all of this. Here is the list:
I think that this will be good to help me just document some things about my life that I want to remember.
I think that this will be good to help me just document some things about my life that I want to remember.
Friday, April 29, 2011
I don't have a title
I have a problem. I spend too much of my life counting on things to go wrong. But, once again I was reminded today that I do this because it seems to happen way too often. I make plans and then things change and it doesn't work out. I am tired of feeling disappointed. I am sitting in my classroom while my students are working and all I can think about is how I am so so sick of this. It is making it hard to be a good teacher. I want to feel excited about something with my whole heart and soul. But, I don't know how to do that anymore. I always have a thought in the back of my head like, 'well don't get your hopes up because chances are its not going to happen'. I don't want to feel like this, I don't want to feel like I live my life in constant fear of disappointment. I just don't know how to change it.
Even though I have written about some of this before I am still going to write it again because I feel like I need to so that I can gather my thoughts.
Let me back up and explain some things. In December I was called to be the Relief Society President in my ward. To say I was overwhelmed is a serious understatement. I didn't know what to do or how to become what I needed to be. My Bishop talked to me a lot about the kind of counselors that I needed to find. He said the most important thing I would do is to find good counselors that would support me and be good examples to the sisters in our ward. I got called on Friday night and I had until Monday night to tell him who I had decided on. I was confused, stressed, humbled, scared, and terrified along with a lot of other emotions. I feel like I have always had a hard time trusting my thoughts and feelings so I was scared I was going to screw something up. But, with all of the doubt and confusion there was one counselor I knew was supposed to be called. I was so sure of it I never for one second thought I might be wrong. And, I was right. She was the exact person the sisters in the ward needed and, in my mind, even more importantly the exact person I needed in my life. Catherine Rider quickly became one of my most treasured friends that I will ever have.
Catherine helps me feel like I am myself. She makes me happy. She was planning on moving in with us next week but she just texted me and apparently her plans have changed. She got a job at home for the summer so she is moving home. To say I'm not too thrilled about that is not even beginning to describe what's going on in my head and my heart. I'm just sad. I'm sad she isn't moving in. I'm scared that I am going to be able to be as happy as I have been recently. I truly believe that one of the main reasons that I have been able to be happy lately is because she is my friend. She reminds me to not take life too seriously. She helps me laugh at things and at myself. She allows me to be sarcastic and witty and just take things more lightly. I don't know what it is about her that helps me to do all of those things but she just does. And I'm sad that she won't still be here to aid me in being a better me.
But at the same time, I am glad that she found a job. I am glad that things are working out for her. I am more than grateful she is my friend. I know that just because she is moving for the summer that it doesn't mean we won't be friends anymore. I am positive that both of our personalities won't allow our friendship to just fade away and I am so happy to know that. Things will be ok and life will go on.
I need to find some faith that there is a plan and things are going according to that plan. It is hard to stay strong and have hope when it seems all of my plans always crumble around me. I guess the key is realizing its not really my plans that matter but His plans. Somehow I will find the strength to move forward. Somehow things will ultimately work out to be better than I ever imagined. I am just hoping this happens sometime soon.
Even though I have written about some of this before I am still going to write it again because I feel like I need to so that I can gather my thoughts.
Let me back up and explain some things. In December I was called to be the Relief Society President in my ward. To say I was overwhelmed is a serious understatement. I didn't know what to do or how to become what I needed to be. My Bishop talked to me a lot about the kind of counselors that I needed to find. He said the most important thing I would do is to find good counselors that would support me and be good examples to the sisters in our ward. I got called on Friday night and I had until Monday night to tell him who I had decided on. I was confused, stressed, humbled, scared, and terrified along with a lot of other emotions. I feel like I have always had a hard time trusting my thoughts and feelings so I was scared I was going to screw something up. But, with all of the doubt and confusion there was one counselor I knew was supposed to be called. I was so sure of it I never for one second thought I might be wrong. And, I was right. She was the exact person the sisters in the ward needed and, in my mind, even more importantly the exact person I needed in my life. Catherine Rider quickly became one of my most treasured friends that I will ever have.
Catherine helps me feel like I am myself. She makes me happy. She was planning on moving in with us next week but she just texted me and apparently her plans have changed. She got a job at home for the summer so she is moving home. To say I'm not too thrilled about that is not even beginning to describe what's going on in my head and my heart. I'm just sad. I'm sad she isn't moving in. I'm scared that I am going to be able to be as happy as I have been recently. I truly believe that one of the main reasons that I have been able to be happy lately is because she is my friend. She reminds me to not take life too seriously. She helps me laugh at things and at myself. She allows me to be sarcastic and witty and just take things more lightly. I don't know what it is about her that helps me to do all of those things but she just does. And I'm sad that she won't still be here to aid me in being a better me.
But at the same time, I am glad that she found a job. I am glad that things are working out for her. I am more than grateful she is my friend. I know that just because she is moving for the summer that it doesn't mean we won't be friends anymore. I am positive that both of our personalities won't allow our friendship to just fade away and I am so happy to know that. Things will be ok and life will go on.
I need to find some faith that there is a plan and things are going according to that plan. It is hard to stay strong and have hope when it seems all of my plans always crumble around me. I guess the key is realizing its not really my plans that matter but His plans. Somehow I will find the strength to move forward. Somehow things will ultimately work out to be better than I ever imagined. I am just hoping this happens sometime soon.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Birthday Time
I can't believe that it is already April and already time for my birthday. This year has been going by pretty dang fast. This year has been good and it has been hard all at the same time.
Right before Christmas break I got called to be the Relief Society President of my ward. To say that I was stressed about it and overwhelmed is a MAJOR understatement. I think that I had a few mental breakdowns the week that I was supposed to be figuring out who my counselors were supposed to be. It was a long hard week that included getting killed in a few basketball games, having one of the girl's dads yell at me after a game, remembering that I had forgotten to get my sprinklers blown out for the winter, and other small things that set me off way more than they should have. But, I have adjusted and finally started to feel comfortable. Although in a week from today everything is going to change because they are reorganizing all of the wards around here and its going to be a big change and a hard change and then I'll be all stressed again.
My birthday was yesterday. I turned 26. I don't want to be 26. That feels old. It is closer to 30 than it is to 20. That is the age the my sister told me (like 2 or 3 years ago and she probably didn't realize it would come true) that if you weren't married by then then people would wonder what was wrong with you. I am getting older and things are still not happening for me. And at times, that is a very hard thing to realize. But, I have had some very very good conversations with my bishop lately that have reassured me that things will be ok and that there is a plan and that I just need to have faith that things will work out. It is a hard thing to do but I have to keep trying. And besides, every once in a while things happen and people come into my life that I realize wouldn't have happened if I was already married. So, I can be grateful for that.
Even though things have been hard leading up to my birthday and I didn't really want it to come there have been good things happening too. I have a friend that is actually one of my counselors in Relief Society. Her name is Catherine and I love her. She makes me laugh so hard every time I talk to her. She has helped me so much in the last couple of weeks to remember how to be happy doing every day things and for that I am so grateful that she is my friend. She has had some ups and downs in her life and in the last year has made some major changes. It is so inspiring to talk to her and learn from her and just know her. I am glad that I have had to opportunity to get to know her and I am glad that she is my friend.
Well, I need to do lots and lots better about writing on here. I am not doing a very good job about keeping a record about my life. I want to be better because I really do like being able to look back and remember things that happened and things I learned. Its just hard when I feel like I am in a bad mood and sad so much of the time. But, I am determined to do better about that and about writing on here. Pray I keep this attitude in my life.
Right before Christmas break I got called to be the Relief Society President of my ward. To say that I was stressed about it and overwhelmed is a MAJOR understatement. I think that I had a few mental breakdowns the week that I was supposed to be figuring out who my counselors were supposed to be. It was a long hard week that included getting killed in a few basketball games, having one of the girl's dads yell at me after a game, remembering that I had forgotten to get my sprinklers blown out for the winter, and other small things that set me off way more than they should have. But, I have adjusted and finally started to feel comfortable. Although in a week from today everything is going to change because they are reorganizing all of the wards around here and its going to be a big change and a hard change and then I'll be all stressed again.
My birthday was yesterday. I turned 26. I don't want to be 26. That feels old. It is closer to 30 than it is to 20. That is the age the my sister told me (like 2 or 3 years ago and she probably didn't realize it would come true) that if you weren't married by then then people would wonder what was wrong with you. I am getting older and things are still not happening for me. And at times, that is a very hard thing to realize. But, I have had some very very good conversations with my bishop lately that have reassured me that things will be ok and that there is a plan and that I just need to have faith that things will work out. It is a hard thing to do but I have to keep trying. And besides, every once in a while things happen and people come into my life that I realize wouldn't have happened if I was already married. So, I can be grateful for that.
Even though things have been hard leading up to my birthday and I didn't really want it to come there have been good things happening too. I have a friend that is actually one of my counselors in Relief Society. Her name is Catherine and I love her. She makes me laugh so hard every time I talk to her. She has helped me so much in the last couple of weeks to remember how to be happy doing every day things and for that I am so grateful that she is my friend. She has had some ups and downs in her life and in the last year has made some major changes. It is so inspiring to talk to her and learn from her and just know her. I am glad that I have had to opportunity to get to know her and I am glad that she is my friend.
Well, I need to do lots and lots better about writing on here. I am not doing a very good job about keeping a record about my life. I want to be better because I really do like being able to look back and remember things that happened and things I learned. Its just hard when I feel like I am in a bad mood and sad so much of the time. But, I am determined to do better about that and about writing on here. Pray I keep this attitude in my life.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2011 Resolutions
Spiritual:
Continue to be in the 365 day club.
Complete reading the Book of Mormon twice.
Attend the temple monthly.
Visiting Teaching every month.
Home Life:
Clean my room weekly.
Vacuum weekly.
Bathroom cleaned weekly.
Financial:
Track money spending.
Pay bills when they arrive.
Set aside money monthly into savings.
Pay Fast Offerings monthly.
Physical:
Exercise 5 times weekly.
Run in at least one race.
Personal:
Read more (one book a month).
Write on my blog/in my journal more.
Relationships:
Send Birthday cards to family.
Be better at getting to know people in my ward.
Learn ward members names.
Continue to be in the 365 day club.
Complete reading the Book of Mormon twice.
Attend the temple monthly.
Visiting Teaching every month.
Home Life:
Clean my room weekly.
Vacuum weekly.
Bathroom cleaned weekly.
Financial:
Track money spending.
Pay bills when they arrive.
Set aside money monthly into savings.
Pay Fast Offerings monthly.
Physical:
Exercise 5 times weekly.
Run in at least one race.
Personal:
Read more (one book a month).
Write on my blog/in my journal more.
Relationships:
Send Birthday cards to family.
Be better at getting to know people in my ward.
Learn ward members names.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Twenty-Ten
Time for a New Year and time to do another review. I can't believe that this year is already over. It has been long and flew by all at the same time. Well here goes 2010...
January: Continued to coach the JV basketball team. Coworker got arrested. Dealt with too much reality. Was a bridesmaid at my roommate Hilary's wedding in Idaho Falls. Went to Boise to watch an indoor ISU track meet. Busy busy busy!
February: Finished coaching. Went home to watch my sister Kendra win a State Championship! Took a day off of work and watched Cassie at an ISU track meet. Went to a fireside with Cody to hear Elder Richard G. Scott. Finally held hands with a boy (Cody Funk) and ended up getting hurt again. Realized once again how good of a friend Cassie is. Started looking at houses to BUY!
March: Went to Utah with Cassie to visit my family and did a sweet subway art project with Karissa. Janiece got engaged to Connor. Finally had some downtime to myself since basketball ended. Dealt with some major problems with co-workers. Stayed in Pocatello over spring break to put in an offer on MY HOUSE which was accepted!
April: Turned 25!!! Had dinner with good friends and just relaxed. Went home for General Conference and Easter with the whole family. Got to watch Cassie at the BSU track meet. Did a killer fun easter egg hunt while blindfolded and clotheslined Zeke. Talked to my Bishop about going through the temple. Went to Utah to see family, watch another track meet, see Jordan, and just get away.
May: Moved into MY OWN HOUSE with Cassie, Carrie Talbot, and Sasha Boylova, Went through the Idaho Falls temple to receive my endowment. Dad, Mom, Devin, Cortney, Trent, Karissa, Toby, Janiece, Zeke and Porter all come to stay at my house. Spoke in church for the 5th time in that ward. Struggled to get through to the end of the school year.
June: Finished my 2nd year of teaching. Helped one of my past students finish his math ISAT requirement literally minutes before the deadline to graduate and witnessed a life change in him. Went to Eugene, Oregon to watch the National Track and Field Championship where Cassie was competing in the Heptathlon and Javelin and watched her get All-American! My cousin Brent passed away in an accident. Went to Wilsonville and saw lots of old friends. Janiece and Connor got married in the Portland Temple and I was able to attend the sealing. Started going to our new singles ward.
July: Celebrated the 4th of July with family and then came back home and watched the Pocatello firework show which was one of the best ever! Celebrated Cassie's birthday. Went to Pheonix with my Mom and Jenica for Kendra's basketball tournament. Stayed in super nice hotel, swam at the water park, shopped, and navigated our way around to some fun. Got called to be the ward FHE coordinator
August: Youngberg Family Reunion at Cascade Lake with TONS of cousins and fun and games. Went to Utah with Cassie and stayed with her brother's family and her sister's family. Janiece and Connor came and stayed at my house for a couple of days before going to school. Went to Lava to jump off the platforms! Amy Andrus moved in.
September: Started my 3rd year of teaching. Not the best start to the year and already dreading the rest of it. Had girls night at our house and played some fun games. Went to Utah for Porter's 1st Birthday Party. A CES fireside all about marriage made me have a rough couple of days as I realized I still have a ways to go until I'm to that point.
October: Went home for General Conference and Zeke's 3rd Birthday. Went to watch Kendra play in a state play-in volleyball game in Burley. Went to Kimberly High School to watch Kendra's volleyball state tournament where they took 3rd in the most intense game against their rivals ever! Played some mad 4 square in the parking lot between games. Decided that it might be possible for me to find a guy that I could be interested in. Got to go home for a week long fall break and do lots of projects with my mom and dad. Carrie moved out unexpectedly. Painted my bathroom and love it! Got really sick and had a sinus infection and probably strep throat.
November: Basketball season started. I am coaching the JV team again for the 2nd year in a row but with a new head coach. Got to stay home for my first snow day ever! Went home for Thanksgiving and did the longest most stressful drive in the snow ever. Got stuck at home an extra day with lots of family and friends because of the roads. Don't really like my job and dread going everyday especially with the bad roads. Roxie Dawn Limb, my niece, was born early and I got to see her since I was stuck at home.
December: Busy, busy. Coaching lots of games, working too many hours, not getting enough sleep. Got my first technical in a basketball game for yelling at a referee when he personally attacked me. Got called to be the Relief Society President. Took a much needed day off from work to recuperate from a stressful life. Went home for Christmas where the WHOLE family was there. Played lots of games, ate way too much food, and had so much fun.
Wow wow wow. That was quite the year. I am always amazed at how much can happen in just one year. I am not going to lie, 2010 was not my most favorite year ever. I am glad its ending and I get to put it in my past. I'm sure hoping that 2011 treats me a whole lot better and brings happiness and love.
January: Continued to coach the JV basketball team. Coworker got arrested. Dealt with too much reality. Was a bridesmaid at my roommate Hilary's wedding in Idaho Falls. Went to Boise to watch an indoor ISU track meet. Busy busy busy!
February: Finished coaching. Went home to watch my sister Kendra win a State Championship! Took a day off of work and watched Cassie at an ISU track meet. Went to a fireside with Cody to hear Elder Richard G. Scott. Finally held hands with a boy (Cody Funk) and ended up getting hurt again. Realized once again how good of a friend Cassie is. Started looking at houses to BUY!
March: Went to Utah with Cassie to visit my family and did a sweet subway art project with Karissa. Janiece got engaged to Connor. Finally had some downtime to myself since basketball ended. Dealt with some major problems with co-workers. Stayed in Pocatello over spring break to put in an offer on MY HOUSE which was accepted!
April: Turned 25!!! Had dinner with good friends and just relaxed. Went home for General Conference and Easter with the whole family. Got to watch Cassie at the BSU track meet. Did a killer fun easter egg hunt while blindfolded and clotheslined Zeke. Talked to my Bishop about going through the temple. Went to Utah to see family, watch another track meet, see Jordan, and just get away.
May: Moved into MY OWN HOUSE with Cassie, Carrie Talbot, and Sasha Boylova, Went through the Idaho Falls temple to receive my endowment. Dad, Mom, Devin, Cortney, Trent, Karissa, Toby, Janiece, Zeke and Porter all come to stay at my house. Spoke in church for the 5th time in that ward. Struggled to get through to the end of the school year.
June: Finished my 2nd year of teaching. Helped one of my past students finish his math ISAT requirement literally minutes before the deadline to graduate and witnessed a life change in him. Went to Eugene, Oregon to watch the National Track and Field Championship where Cassie was competing in the Heptathlon and Javelin and watched her get All-American! My cousin Brent passed away in an accident. Went to Wilsonville and saw lots of old friends. Janiece and Connor got married in the Portland Temple and I was able to attend the sealing. Started going to our new singles ward.
July: Celebrated the 4th of July with family and then came back home and watched the Pocatello firework show which was one of the best ever! Celebrated Cassie's birthday. Went to Pheonix with my Mom and Jenica for Kendra's basketball tournament. Stayed in super nice hotel, swam at the water park, shopped, and navigated our way around to some fun. Got called to be the ward FHE coordinator
August: Youngberg Family Reunion at Cascade Lake with TONS of cousins and fun and games. Went to Utah with Cassie and stayed with her brother's family and her sister's family. Janiece and Connor came and stayed at my house for a couple of days before going to school. Went to Lava to jump off the platforms! Amy Andrus moved in.
September: Started my 3rd year of teaching. Not the best start to the year and already dreading the rest of it. Had girls night at our house and played some fun games. Went to Utah for Porter's 1st Birthday Party. A CES fireside all about marriage made me have a rough couple of days as I realized I still have a ways to go until I'm to that point.
October: Went home for General Conference and Zeke's 3rd Birthday. Went to watch Kendra play in a state play-in volleyball game in Burley. Went to Kimberly High School to watch Kendra's volleyball state tournament where they took 3rd in the most intense game against their rivals ever! Played some mad 4 square in the parking lot between games. Decided that it might be possible for me to find a guy that I could be interested in. Got to go home for a week long fall break and do lots of projects with my mom and dad. Carrie moved out unexpectedly. Painted my bathroom and love it! Got really sick and had a sinus infection and probably strep throat.
November: Basketball season started. I am coaching the JV team again for the 2nd year in a row but with a new head coach. Got to stay home for my first snow day ever! Went home for Thanksgiving and did the longest most stressful drive in the snow ever. Got stuck at home an extra day with lots of family and friends because of the roads. Don't really like my job and dread going everyday especially with the bad roads. Roxie Dawn Limb, my niece, was born early and I got to see her since I was stuck at home.
December: Busy, busy. Coaching lots of games, working too many hours, not getting enough sleep. Got my first technical in a basketball game for yelling at a referee when he personally attacked me. Got called to be the Relief Society President. Took a much needed day off from work to recuperate from a stressful life. Went home for Christmas where the WHOLE family was there. Played lots of games, ate way too much food, and had so much fun.
Wow wow wow. That was quite the year. I am always amazed at how much can happen in just one year. I am not going to lie, 2010 was not my most favorite year ever. I am glad its ending and I get to put it in my past. I'm sure hoping that 2011 treats me a whole lot better and brings happiness and love.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
lately.
I have been writing a lot in my journal lately instead of on here. Mostly I have been having a hard time with things these days. I have just been trying to sort through everything and I don't really know what to do about life. There are multiple things that I am trying to deal with right now and I don't even know where to start on fixing anything.
Most days I don't like my job. Students are rude, mean, disrespectful, and too much to handle. Things seem worse this year than ever dealing with them. I don't know if they really have gotten worse or if my patience has just run out. If I could have, I would have quit in the first two weeks. I can't do anything about my job now but I definitely have a lot to think about between now and June.
i can't finish writing on here right now.... it would be nothing but negative whining and complaining and i don't want to do that.
Most days I don't like my job. Students are rude, mean, disrespectful, and too much to handle. Things seem worse this year than ever dealing with them. I don't know if they really have gotten worse or if my patience has just run out. If I could have, I would have quit in the first two weeks. I can't do anything about my job now but I definitely have a lot to think about between now and June.
i can't finish writing on here right now.... it would be nothing but negative whining and complaining and i don't want to do that.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
sunday
Sunday was a hard day. I cried harder and longer than I have in a really long time. I went to the CES fireside. The ENTIRE thing was about being married and how to be married and how to have an amazing marriage and how to treat your spouse and how to love each other and how to keep things happy and working and how to continue dating each other and on and on and on about it. Needless to say, it wasn't the easiest thing to sit through. I didn't even wear my contacts on Monday cause my eyes still hurt and I still had a headache.
And to top it all off I can't sleep. I have been awake at either 4 or 4:30 in the morning every day since before school started. It is getting old and I am just getting more and more tired every single day.
And to top it all off I can't sleep. I have been awake at either 4 or 4:30 in the morning every day since before school started. It is getting old and I am just getting more and more tired every single day.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Cry my eyes out.
Do you ever feel like you need to watch a movie so that you can cry your eyes out? Maybe its because crying for something fictional and for people who aren't real and aren't you and it just might make you feel better. I am not sure of the reason but it seems like sometimes I just need to cry but at the same time I don't want to think about the parts of my life that make me feel like that so I just want to cry for some other, meaningless to real life, reason. I think tomorrow when I get home I might just put in a movie in my room and have a good cry.
Have things happened to make me feel like this? yes. Am I ready to deal with them enough to write about them? no. Maybe someday. And maybe I will just bottle this up all inside and hope it never escapes because I can't even explain how sick and tired I am of feeling sorry for myself.
Have things happened to make me feel like this? yes. Am I ready to deal with them enough to write about them? no. Maybe someday. And maybe I will just bottle this up all inside and hope it never escapes because I can't even explain how sick and tired I am of feeling sorry for myself.
Friday, July 16, 2010
numb.
I am numb. I have been thinking lately about my life and how I react to things and process things and I have come to the conclusion that I am numb. I don't allow myself to feel my emotions. I think I have talked about this a little on here before but its been on my mind a lot lately so I guess I have more I need to get out.
For the past couple of months I haven't been able to feel like myself. I don't laugh as much as I used to. I don't feel like getting out and doing much. I would much rather just be alone doing something mundane. What is wrong with me? Why don't I feel like the person I so fully want to be and who I have worked so hard to become? Who is this person that has been living my life since summer began? Its not me, and I don't like it.
Is it because there are so many things in my life that I don't like and don't want to feel and don't want to think about? I don't even know if I have let myself realize all of the things I have been dealing with and that I want to change.
I already went on and on in my last post about Janiece getting married. It still is hard to think about and hasn't gotten any easier. If anything, the more time that passes and the more the reality of it sinks in, the harder it is. I am just so scared that everyone around me is going to keep finding people to marry and I am going to be left in the dust, all by myself. Its not a good feeling to feel alone and I feel that way too much these days. I am tired of going through life alone. I need someone else who cares about me and cares about what I do every day. And mostly, I need to care about someone else. My life is too self-centered and I hate it.
I started attending my new ward and let's just say I have been less than thrilled about it. I think I cried 6 different times the first Sunday. I don't want to change wards. I don't want to start going to a new singles ward where I have to meet all new people and re-establish who I am. I don't want to deal with what it implies in my life. Once again I am moving forward alone. I just don't want to do it. I got called to be the FHE coordinator. Why of all callings did I have to get that one? I have struggled with FHE my entire life. I don't know why, but I have never really enjoyed it. I know its a good thing and I can see how it blesses lives and that's why I have been faithful in attending for the past 2 years since I moved here but why do I have to be in charge of it? Its the last thing I want to do. But, I accepting the calling and am going to do it whether I like it or not. Once again I will force myself not to think about being miserable and just do what I have to do.
I guess its finally time to admit that I like (or is it already now liked?) Jordan. I didn't think that I was ever going to post that on here. It wasn't something I ever planned on shouting to the world. But, if I am going to try to start actually feeling things again I need to admit things to myself. Even before Jordan got home from his mission, almost two years ago, I started wondering about him. I remembered how we used to always fight and argue and he would sometimes drive me crazy. But, I also remembered that I have never been treated with such respect and love as I was with him. I knew that he would do anything for me if I asked him to. He is a good guy. He is a worthy priesthood holder that is always going to respect the responsibility that comes with that. He is going to be such an amazing man for the rest of his life. I think the thing that made me realize I might have feelings for him is every time I found out he had a girlfriend or that him and his girlfriend were talking about getting married I got jealous and deep down hoped things wouldn't work out. So, when he told me that he and his girlfriend finally broke up for reals and for sure they were done I was really happy. He stopped to see me on his way back to Utah when school got out and it was so much fun. He has been saying that he is going to come and visit me all summer but it hasn't happened. And, every time he says he is I get my hopes up and then he doesn't come, and I get hurt again. I am tired of getting hurt. I think that's what the "liked" at the beginning means. I still wonder if things could or would ever happen between the two of us. But, I am so tired of caring and then having it hurt worse. Once again, I have turned off my emotions. I don't even know if I am crazy and things could never work but I just wanted to see. I wanted to spend some time with him. But, it doesn't look like that's going to happen and so I am done trying. I hope I can be done hoping and caring soon cause its getting tiring.
Last night I went and saw the movie "The Last Song" with my roommate Sasha. I bawled my eyes out for probably 20 minutes straight. Sure, its a sad movie and warranted tears but really? 20 minutes? I am pretty sure its safe to say that not all the tears were from the movie. I guess once I started I couldn't stop. That's the problem with holding things in. You never know when they're going to break free on their own. Its been happening too much lately. I am tired of crying. And I am tired of then forcing myself to stop thinking so that I stop crying. When is my life going to be good and not something I want to cry about? I am just tired. And I am numb. I am tired of being numb.
For the past couple of months I haven't been able to feel like myself. I don't laugh as much as I used to. I don't feel like getting out and doing much. I would much rather just be alone doing something mundane. What is wrong with me? Why don't I feel like the person I so fully want to be and who I have worked so hard to become? Who is this person that has been living my life since summer began? Its not me, and I don't like it.
Is it because there are so many things in my life that I don't like and don't want to feel and don't want to think about? I don't even know if I have let myself realize all of the things I have been dealing with and that I want to change.
I already went on and on in my last post about Janiece getting married. It still is hard to think about and hasn't gotten any easier. If anything, the more time that passes and the more the reality of it sinks in, the harder it is. I am just so scared that everyone around me is going to keep finding people to marry and I am going to be left in the dust, all by myself. Its not a good feeling to feel alone and I feel that way too much these days. I am tired of going through life alone. I need someone else who cares about me and cares about what I do every day. And mostly, I need to care about someone else. My life is too self-centered and I hate it.
I started attending my new ward and let's just say I have been less than thrilled about it. I think I cried 6 different times the first Sunday. I don't want to change wards. I don't want to start going to a new singles ward where I have to meet all new people and re-establish who I am. I don't want to deal with what it implies in my life. Once again I am moving forward alone. I just don't want to do it. I got called to be the FHE coordinator. Why of all callings did I have to get that one? I have struggled with FHE my entire life. I don't know why, but I have never really enjoyed it. I know its a good thing and I can see how it blesses lives and that's why I have been faithful in attending for the past 2 years since I moved here but why do I have to be in charge of it? Its the last thing I want to do. But, I accepting the calling and am going to do it whether I like it or not. Once again I will force myself not to think about being miserable and just do what I have to do.
I guess its finally time to admit that I like (or is it already now liked?) Jordan. I didn't think that I was ever going to post that on here. It wasn't something I ever planned on shouting to the world. But, if I am going to try to start actually feeling things again I need to admit things to myself. Even before Jordan got home from his mission, almost two years ago, I started wondering about him. I remembered how we used to always fight and argue and he would sometimes drive me crazy. But, I also remembered that I have never been treated with such respect and love as I was with him. I knew that he would do anything for me if I asked him to. He is a good guy. He is a worthy priesthood holder that is always going to respect the responsibility that comes with that. He is going to be such an amazing man for the rest of his life. I think the thing that made me realize I might have feelings for him is every time I found out he had a girlfriend or that him and his girlfriend were talking about getting married I got jealous and deep down hoped things wouldn't work out. So, when he told me that he and his girlfriend finally broke up for reals and for sure they were done I was really happy. He stopped to see me on his way back to Utah when school got out and it was so much fun. He has been saying that he is going to come and visit me all summer but it hasn't happened. And, every time he says he is I get my hopes up and then he doesn't come, and I get hurt again. I am tired of getting hurt. I think that's what the "liked" at the beginning means. I still wonder if things could or would ever happen between the two of us. But, I am so tired of caring and then having it hurt worse. Once again, I have turned off my emotions. I don't even know if I am crazy and things could never work but I just wanted to see. I wanted to spend some time with him. But, it doesn't look like that's going to happen and so I am done trying. I hope I can be done hoping and caring soon cause its getting tiring.
Last night I went and saw the movie "The Last Song" with my roommate Sasha. I bawled my eyes out for probably 20 minutes straight. Sure, its a sad movie and warranted tears but really? 20 minutes? I am pretty sure its safe to say that not all the tears were from the movie. I guess once I started I couldn't stop. That's the problem with holding things in. You never know when they're going to break free on their own. Its been happening too much lately. I am tired of crying. And I am tired of then forcing myself to stop thinking so that I stop crying. When is my life going to be good and not something I want to cry about? I am just tired. And I am numb. I am tired of being numb.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
what is wrong with me?
what is wrong with me? i don't want to talk. i don't want to be around anyone. i just want to sit by myself and sulk. and, i don't even know why. well i have a couple of ideas but it still sucks. i'm sick of feeling like this.
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