Sleep

I have been really bad about going to bed lately. I can't make myself get into bed. I never have a problem falling asleep once I'm there, its just the getting there that's the problem. I can't figure out why because I have never had a problem in the past. When I'm tired, I go to bed. Well, unless there's something that HAS to be done then I don't but that hasn't really been the case. I just am up doing nothing. Talking, reading, on the computer, wasting time. I need to make myself get into bed so I don't die. This morning I came close...

accident

One of my student/basketball girls from last year got in a car accident this summer. She fell asleep on her way home from utah and rolled her car. She ended up 150 yards from the freeway down in a ravine. Search and rescue had to come and get her out and she was life-flighted to utah to the trauma center there. I was in Hawaii at the time and felt so helpless I almost couldn't handle it. Hate to admit it, but she is by far my most favorite student I have ever had and maybe ever will have. I was in shock. I found out that she broke her back in 5 places, broke almost every single one of her ribs, damaged her spline almost beyond repair, and broke her neck in 2 places. Everything about this accident should have left her either dead or paralized. Amazingly, she is neither. She had 2 major surgeries and is already walking around doing great. She has 2 metal rods up her back with screws everywhere. She said her x-rays look like there's a ladder running up her back. When search and rescue was cutting her out they accidently sliced her open about 5 times on her side. She is going to have more scars than anyone ever should.

She came to see me yesterday after school and she looks AMAZING. She still is wearing her brace that looks horribly uncomfortable and still is in a lot of pain but overall, I couldn't believe how good she looked. It was so nice to see her. I think the thing that made me most happy was she just looked happy. She has had to deal with quite a lot in her personal life and it always seemed like it was wearing on her but yesterday it was like she was so comfortable with her life and just content. It made me so happy to see that she has come out of this horrible accident with such a good attitude and doesn't complain about it. I mean sure some days she's told me she's tired of everything and just wants the pain to stop and for everything to be back to how it was but who wouldn't say that in this situation? I was actually a little jealous about how happy she was. Man this girl has changed my life more than she'll ever know. I'm so glad she made it and is doing so awesome.

you know me?

I am in the same ward I was in last year. I like being in a place where I already know people and they know me. It is so much easier to meet the new people when I have a foundation of the people who aren't new. I think that this is my year. I feel it. This is the year I am going to have so much fun that I won't even be able to contain myself! I already feel like I have more friends than I have in a while. I feel more comfortable with who I am and where I am in life. Its nice to feel secure.

working out

I decided about a week and a half ago that I needed to seriously do something. I am tired of being out of shape and weighing about 15-20 pounds more than I want to. I talked to my cousin who has kind of become a self-appointed health guru and has actually had a lot of success herself and with quite a few other people she has helped. She gave me her "diet" plan. I don't really want to call it a diet because you really eat 6 times a day. I guess you would say its a new way of eating. I tried to do it last week but was STARVING all the time. Not because I wasn't eating enough but I think because I was thinking about food all the time. I decided to give it a go another time and actually do the working out thing how I know I am supposed to. I went running this morning and thought I was going to die. Partially because I have spent all summer at really low elevations and now I am up really high and it makes it hard to breathe and mostly because I am just really out of shape. I felt kind of pathetic.

But anyways, I am going to do it for reals. I am going to get into shape, eat right, and lose the weight I feel like I need to. I don't want people to tell me "oh, you're not fat... you don't need to lose weight... what are you worrying about" things like that. I know I am not obese, I know I am ok how I am. But, I want to to be HEALTHY. I want to be the weight I know I can be because that's what I used to be. I will get back to where I want to be and I will do it in a healthy way.

Now all I gotta do is pick a reasonable date and the weight and set the goal. Here we go...

New Year

next week i start my second year of teaching. i think i am ready. this summer has been amazing. i don't think that i have ever done so many fun things in one summer in my entire life. maybe i will write about them sometime when I don't already have something else i want to write about. today i have been thinking a lot about starting fresh. one of the things that i have decided that i really like about teaching is that with the new school year it feels like i get to start over and fresh. i get to start new on life and attitude and routine and i just like that feeling. i think my life is ready for a little structure again. this summer has been so full of doing whatever i want whenever i want that it is actually starting to get old. no one depends on me to do anything. no one notices if i even get out of bed in the morning. so i'm ready for some responsibility again. this year is going to rock. i feel way more confident going into teaching this time. all of the first year unknowns are gone and i love that! i will never again have to say that this is my first year. people cringe when they hear that it feels like. so hear hear to a new year. its gonna be awesome.

hello?

Does anyone ever even check this thing anymore? i think that i am going to try to start writing again.