sunday

Sunday was a hard day. I cried harder and longer than I have in a really long time. I went to the CES fireside. The ENTIRE thing was about being married and how to be married and how to have an amazing marriage and how to treat your spouse and how to love each other and how to keep things happy and working and how to continue dating each other and on and on and on about it. Needless to say, it wasn't the easiest thing to sit through. I didn't even wear my contacts on Monday cause my eyes still hurt and I still had a headache.

And to top it all off I can't sleep. I have been awake at either 4 or 4:30 in the morning every day since before school started. It is getting old and I am just getting more and more tired every single day.

Cry my eyes out.

Do you ever feel like you need to watch a movie so that you can cry your eyes out? Maybe its because crying for something fictional and for people who aren't real and aren't you and it just might make you feel better. I am not sure of the reason but it seems like sometimes I just need to cry but at the same time I don't want to think about the parts of my life that make me feel like that so I just want to cry for some other, meaningless to real life, reason. I think tomorrow when I get home I might just put in a movie in my room and have a good cry.

Have things happened to make me feel like this? yes. Am I ready to deal with them enough to write about them? no. Maybe someday. And maybe I will just bottle this up all inside and hope it never escapes because I can't even explain how sick and tired I am of feeling sorry for myself.