remembering to be grateful

Last night was.... interesting.

I did not want to go to FHE at all but I forced myself to go. I decided I was going to go for the lesson only and then I would leave. Well, once I got there I found out that the activity was a service project of going around and collecting canned food for the salvation army and so I felt guilty leaving. I still was not in the mood to meet new people, to socialize, to do any of that typical fhe stuff. I decided to just go with my roommate and 2 other guy student teachers went with us too. I was glad, no new people, just do the project and get out of there. Well right as we were going to the cars a guy from our ward asked if he could fill our empty seat. This guy is a Sunday school teacher in my ward. Last Sunday my roommate leaned over and told me that she thought he was cute and that he and I would look good together. Immediately my answer was no, not my style. This guy is what I like to call a grade a wiener. Just your normal cheese ball. Well, he came with us and I must say, he turned out to be a pretty cool guy (still not someone I would be interested in - picture your byu, provo, popped collar guy and that's him) but I admit, my first impression was wrong. Something that I need to remember, don't judge people before actually getting to know them.

Well, I got home a lot later than I had planned and I still had to prepare my lesson for one of my math classes the next day. Some of my roommates were watching a movie so I decided to watch and plan. I got my books, notebook, laptop and sat on the couch. Before getting to work I checked my email and I had received a response to an email that I had written the night before. It was a very nice email and it made me feel good but at the same time it made me sad. For some reason lately my emotions have been close to the surface. I didn't want to have my roommates see me cry and have to explain so I just moved to my room to have some alone time to think and reflect. I realized that no matter what stage of life we are in we are always going to have challenge and change to deal with but that's ok. That is why we are here. I realized that the problems that I may have going on are really not that huge and I will get through them. And, once I have figured this stage of my life out, new problems and new changes will come along and I will have to deal with those and learn and keep going. This is what we do in life, over and over. But, I know that things will work out and that we will make it through our trials. I know that we are taught and people always say that we will never be given a challenge that we cannot handle. I don't know if I completely agree with that. Let me explain. I know that some of the things that have happened to me in my life I could not have made it through, on my own. On my own there is no way that I could make it through my trials without falling. But, I have been thinking lately, we do not have to do it on our own. We have been given the gift of the spirit, a loving savior, personal revelation and more gifts that we know from a loving Heavenly Father. And so, we don't have to make it through our trials on our own. We are given more help than we can imagine. We will never be given something that we cannot handle, without help. Sometimes, I forget that and try to do it on my own and I fail. It is at those times when I am most unhappy and make the least amount of progress. I love how things happen that make you remember important truths that somehow we forget as we go through every day life.

And so, basically, I am grateful for the email that made me start thinking about these things. I am grateful for people listening to the spirit and being a tool in our Heavenly Father's hand. I am grateful for important relationships that teach us things that we would have a hard time learning on our own.