June 12th

Felt like putting this on here so i could keep record of where i'm at in my life...


hey daniel. how's it going? things here in idaho are going pretty well. nothing too exciting going on.

so today i was mowing the lawn for like 4 hours after i had been running so that means that i had a lot of time of doing nothing but think. for the last few days i have just been thinking about pretty much everything there is to think about. one of the things that i thought about was all of the friends that i have in my life. i have been pretty lucky to have some pretty good friends that i am still able to have contact with. last week was my friends nathan's (the guy that i dated in high school) birthday so i called and talked to him, we have been friends since we were 14. i was thinking about it and i am so glad that we are still friends and that we can talk to each other and still care about what is going on with the other. i am glad that we have been able to stay close friends even though it might have turned weird after we broke up. ok so you are probably wondering why in the world i am telling you all of this. i do have a point, promise.

here it is. i don't do very well at cutting friends out of my life. i always wonder how my good friends are doing even if i haven't seen or talked to them in a long time. and you happen to be one of my good friends!

so here's where i'm at... since we talked i have figured out some stuff. i have accepted and started to understand more of why we aren't supposed to be together. remember how i told you in rexburg that i was done with that part of my life and that you didnt' need to worry about it anymore? well that was true even though it probably doesn't seem like it. i think that what happened was when you came to my house i was kind of freaking out about growing up and moving on with my life. you were there, and things just happened. we feel comfortable with each other and will always have our past. it was easy for me to put my energy and thoughts into that because it wasn't as scary as thinking about everything else in my life. but lately i have realized that i really do need to not fall back into what is comfortable and what is easy. i have started moving forward with my life and started to figure out what i want to do and where i want to be and it feels good. i want to keep moving forward and keep figuring my life out. even though its hard, it is nice to progress in life.

so why am i writing you this email? well its because of what i said before. i am not very good at cutting friends out of my life. i feel like if i totally cut you out of my life it is like i am giving up the friendship that we have had for so long which in my mind would be totally lame and unnecessary. yes it was necessary for us to not talk for a while so that i could get my head on straight again. but i feel like i've done that. i want you to be my friend again. i want to hear of where you're going in life and the decisions you have made and the cool stuff you have done. just like any good friend would.

i dont think that i'm to the point where i can talk to you on the phone and i don't think that you mind avoiding the phone all that much. but, i would like to hear from you. maybe we could just email each other every now and again so that we can keep in touch and keep updated. of course it is up to you, if you don't think its a good idea then that is ok, just let me know. but honestly, i just want to know what's going on with you. hope things are going well for you and i hope that i hear back from you soon. have a good day!

tyleen

i don't know

it seems like when i dont feel like writing on here either things are going really well or really not well. i wish that this case was the first. when things aren't going well its like i don't know where to start. i don't know if i could say things are horrible but things are just hard lately. i don't know how to explain or where to start. i am just ready for my time at home to be done I think. i am tired of being in the middle of family problems and having my every action and word be scrutinized. i am tired of being afraid of what i'm saying or how i'm acting around certain family members because i am worried that they will take it as me hating them or getting on their case or causing them to turn around and attack me. this week should be interesting. starting thursday we will all be together, every single member of my now 11 member family and my brother's girlfriend. that makes 11 adults (one baby) with their own opinions, own feelings, own desires, own everything, all piled together stuck in a house in the mccall idaho with nothing much around but each other. yeah..... this should be interesting.

babysitting

This weekend I watched a family of 4 kids in my ward while their parents went out of town for the anniversary and so that their dad could compete in an iron man! (that's like 2 1/2 mile swim, 105 mile bike ride and then a full marathon!!!) The kids were 13, 9, 7 and 3. I was a little unsure of how it was going to go but it actually turned out to be pretty fun. These kids were so easy to watch and so easy going. Kind of strange to think about but it gave me a glimpse of what kind of mom I want to be. I enjoyed letting the kids make their own choices about what they wanted to wear, wanted to do, when to eat, what to eat (up to a point, no you can't have hot chocolate for every meal), who to play with and things like that. I can't even imagine being a mom that was in control of your childs life. That would get SO exhausting. At the same time that these kids basically decided how their day would go they were still understanding when I would ask them to do something or tell them it was time to go to bed. They would just say ok and do it. I wonder if you can help your kids be like that or if they just come that way. Overall though I really enjoyed it and I made some money at the same time which is always a plus.

Here is a link to their mom's blog: http://wenderful.wordpress.com/
I think that the kids are pretty dang cute especially the 3 year old Will.

real life

I called American Falls and told them I was coming to teach next school year. I feel good about it. It is very strange to think that I just accepted a real-life job! Dang I am getting old. They told me I could come up and get keys and start setting up my classroom if I wanted. So weird, MY classroom. This is going to be quite the adventure!

my trip...mostly from my phone's point of view

So while i was on my trip to utah i decided to chronicle it from my phone. well i guess only part of it... i didn't really start thinking about it until i was on my way away from utah. here are the highlights-

I have for about two years been trying to take pictures of all of the signs when I enter a state. Here is Utah's!

This was at the first bowling alley catherine and i tried to go to. It was basically amazing since that was the name of our bowling team!

I think that I passed 10 of these RV's while I was driving. They were all from canada.







Here I go back to Idaho







I of course had to go and visit my park. Matt was nice enough to go and sit there while he had to make some phone calls so I was safe.





When I was finally heading home I decided to stop and go and see shoshone falls which I have wanted to go for a while. Sadly, I didn't know it cost 3 bucks to go the rest of the way down to the falls! Cash only-i only had 1.50. This is as close as I got





Off of the same exit as Shoshone falls was this viewpoint, just like a mile from the freeway. Who knew something so beautiful was right there, all of the countless times I just drove past!

I really enjoyed taking a break for a week. It was really good for me. I have been happier since I have been home. I think that I might be accepting a job on monday. kinda scary, i'm really growing up.

hunka hunka burnin lung

the elevation in utah is a beast. i had hardly been running for 5 minutes when i felt like i was wheezing. but, it still felt good. i don't think that i remember a time when i didn't feel good after i stopped running.

i have an interview tomorrow with jordan school district. i hope it goes well. i still haven't heard back from tooele yet. maybe jordan will work out. i'm still a little unsure about what to do with my life. i hope that as i move forward i will get a little more direction. but its been so nice being here and taking a break from idaho. it has been so fun seeing family and friends! i don't know how long i'm going to stay here but we'll see. as long as i'm making progress for next year then being here is helping i suppose.

not so bad

This week has turned out to be not so bad. trent karissa and zeke came to visit! it has been fun having them here. karissa and zeke left earlier today but trent is sticking around until tomorrow. i am pretty sure that i am going to caravan down to utah with him. here i come catherine! i am going to be interviewing at a school in tooele next week and it will be nice to get a break. i am going to try to get interviews with the 2 districts in salt lake as well. i think that i have come to realize that just because i am choosing a school to teach at next year its not like i have to stay there for years to come. if i like it great! if not, i can go somewhere else next year. i am not as worried about it as i used to be which is a huge relief. so today i am going to do laundry and get ready to leave tomorrow!