i don't know

it seems like when i dont feel like writing on here either things are going really well or really not well. i wish that this case was the first. when things aren't going well its like i don't know where to start. i don't know if i could say things are horrible but things are just hard lately. i don't know how to explain or where to start. i am just ready for my time at home to be done I think. i am tired of being in the middle of family problems and having my every action and word be scrutinized. i am tired of being afraid of what i'm saying or how i'm acting around certain family members because i am worried that they will take it as me hating them or getting on their case or causing them to turn around and attack me. this week should be interesting. starting thursday we will all be together, every single member of my now 11 member family and my brother's girlfriend. that makes 11 adults (one baby) with their own opinions, own feelings, own desires, own everything, all piled together stuck in a house in the mccall idaho with nothing much around but each other. yeah..... this should be interesting.