more

I think that I want to start writing on here more. I have realized in the last couple of weeks/months that I LOVE reading people's blogs. I like reading about people I know but I like finding people's blogs I don't know and getting to know them too. It is strange, I read a couple of people's blogs that I have never met, don't know anything about in real life but I feel like they are my friends. I don't even know for sure if the name that they use is their real name. But, I love hearing what they have to say about their lives. I love hearing about how they deal with things and how they live life. When I think about it, their kids some day are going to love reading about their moms being normal people and going through trials and having fun and figuring life out. I want to write more. I want to have my personality on "paper". I want to leave something of myself behind.

Figuring it out

I decided yesterday that I am figuring my life out. When basketball ended I had way too much time on my hands and I was starting to go insane. I was bored all the time and felt like I didn't have very many friends. In the past week or so I have forced myself to find things to keep myself busy and I like it. a lot. I have started hanging out with new people and just having fun when I get home. I am enjoying my life again. It feels good.

Also, when I start feeling bad for myself all I have to do is listen to the people around me and I realize that my life isn't so bad.

Friends?

Apparently he doesn't understand what being friends mean. Apparently we can't be friends. Apparently he is an idiot.

Daniel has been dating a girl for a couple of weeks and how did I find out about it?? FACEBOOK! Of all the freaking ways to find out that someone who I thought was one of my good friends is dating someone... I cannot think of a more insulting way. I hear all about his trip that he took down to who knows where on this dumb plane. I mean ALL about it. Except, he forgets to mention that he had his GIRLFRIEND with him. Man that is frustrating.

I guess I even have to stop being his friend. Lame.

Take Control

Monday I did some reflecting and decided it is time to take control of my life. Without going into detail because I don't have time right now (I will do it later I hope) I have turned things around and changed things. I even woke up at 5 this morning and worked out. Go me.

can't sleep

Ok first of all.... dang i am bad at writing on here. oh well, i'm going to start up again. i figure its my journal and i need to write more.

lately, I cannot sleep. i don't know why, but i wake up at least 4 or 5 times a night and just lay there. and, when i am sleeping i have horrible dreams. not super scary dreams but just dreams that stay with you all day and just kind of shake your reality. i hate it. i wish i knew what was going on in my body or more importantly my brain that is making this happen. if i had to guess... i think its because right now i am feeling a little lost in my life. basketball is over so i have WAY more time to do things that i did before. and, i'm back to the place where i need to decide what productive things i want to be doing so that my life feels full and productive. i think, ok i KNOW that i want to get into amazing shape again. I am just trying to decide the best way to do that. i think that i might want to run another marathon. but, i also know that my body needs to do more than just run so i might join a gym. yes, it is going to take a lot of my time to do all of this but guess what. i have time! so, today when school is over i'm doing some research and figuring out what i'm going to do and today is the first day i'm going to work out. my new life starts today.

well, maybe i'll write more about my life again soon. i feel done writing for now.

thinking

tonight i got a call from bre (the varsity basketball coach who i work with) and she said one of the girls needed us. of course i dropped what i was doing and went with her to go to this girls house to talk. she said that she didn't want to be at home anymore and wanted to leave and run away. this girl is a sophomore, she just turned 16. Now, yeah maybe life at home isn't that great, but where was she planning on going without a car and without money and without a plan. i guess her parents are pretty hard on her to be amazing. she feels like no matter what she does she isn't good enough. i feel bad for her because i remember feeling like that when i was in high school. why is it that girls have low self-esteem naturally. i know her parents love her and only push her because they want the best for her. i am sure that things aren't quite as bad as she thinks they are because i have talked to her parents and know them and know that they are pretty "normal" i think that she just is feeling picked on. i think that she is amazing. i wished i could have shown her how i see her through my eyes. then she would know how good she is at so many things and how she has so much potential in her life and the ability to help those around her. she has a natural ability to be friends with whoever she is around and people are drawn to her because of it. this made me start thinking about how the savior and our heavenly father must feel when we are down on ourselves. they know the great potential we all hold as a child of God. sometimes i forget that but when i take the time to really think about how much they must love me i am blown away.

wow, these girls are teaching me more than i ever thought possible. how grateful i am that they are in my life.

Its time for the new year

So i was reading my friend nick's blog and he did a recap of his year month by month and i thought it was pretty sweet so i want to do it too!

here goes... 2008, a pretty monumental year for me!

January: moved to Las Vegas where i didn't know a single soul in the whole state and started student teaching at Foothill High Shool in Henderson. Started to realize I needed to take some control of my life and told Daniel not to talk to me for a while and took him out of my phone.

February: Got REALLY sick, but had to keep teaching everyday so I would still be able to graduate. Went to utah to visit family and friends instead of going to rexburg to ski (a hard choice to make but the right one in the end)

March: Spring break! Cass came and visited Vegas and we wore ourselves out completely. Cut my head open on the cupboard door. Went to California to spend some time with the Youngbergs and just get away and relax.

April: GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE! moved to my parent's house in middleton, let daniel get in my head again when he and all of my friends came for mine and devin's graduation party. Tried unsuccessfully to find a summer job.

May: Finsihed dealing with daniel for hopefully the last time. Grandma Youngberg turned 90 and a million people came and stayed with us to celebrate. Continued looking for a job and finally gave in and applied to a temp agency

June: Went on a must needed trip to Utah. Applied for teaching jobs in utah and had lots of interviews. ended up going to rexburg and then stopping for an interview in american falls. Accepted a FULL-TIME REAL LIFE job to teach high school math in american falls.

July: Went to McCall, Idaho for the first clark limb family reunion. started the most intense work-out regime of my life and loved it. still no job... more horrible tortourious temp jobs.

August: Moved to Pocatello and dealt with finding a new place to live after learning that the place i planned was a dump. STARTED TEACHING!

September: Got called to be a counselor in the relief society presidency of the best singles ward i have ever been in. Started my teaching blog. Realized i have some really good good friends in my life and got to hang out with some of them again after i hadn't in a long time.

October: Really busy teaching. Took my first day off of work and went to Utah for halloween to spend it with my bro, sister and her family, and my parents (last weekend of freedom until feb because of basketball)

November: Started coaching the freshman girls basketball team at my high school. made some really good friends that i think i'll have for a long time. went home for thanksgiving and as usual, came back at the end more tired than when i got there. Busier than i have ever been in my entire life.

December: Still coaching and realized how much i really do love what i do. My basketball team finally won a game. went home for christmas and had fun with family minus karissa and toby because they are in africa! went to washington to be there for nick and cassidy's wedding (saw daniel and made it through the weekend mostly ok) had fun playing with zeke all day every day while at home.


Dang, when you look at it that way i had a pretty good monumental year. Graduated, got a job, started my new life. I hope 2009 is even better. I am going to post some of my resolutions on here soon!