can't sleep

Ok first of all.... dang i am bad at writing on here. oh well, i'm going to start up again. i figure its my journal and i need to write more.

lately, I cannot sleep. i don't know why, but i wake up at least 4 or 5 times a night and just lay there. and, when i am sleeping i have horrible dreams. not super scary dreams but just dreams that stay with you all day and just kind of shake your reality. i hate it. i wish i knew what was going on in my body or more importantly my brain that is making this happen. if i had to guess... i think its because right now i am feeling a little lost in my life. basketball is over so i have WAY more time to do things that i did before. and, i'm back to the place where i need to decide what productive things i want to be doing so that my life feels full and productive. i think, ok i KNOW that i want to get into amazing shape again. I am just trying to decide the best way to do that. i think that i might want to run another marathon. but, i also know that my body needs to do more than just run so i might join a gym. yes, it is going to take a lot of my time to do all of this but guess what. i have time! so, today when school is over i'm doing some research and figuring out what i'm going to do and today is the first day i'm going to work out. my new life starts today.

well, maybe i'll write more about my life again soon. i feel done writing for now.