Brent

My cousin Brent passed away last week. My mom called me while I was in Oregon and told me that while on a trip with his brother to Havasupi he somehow drowned. Brent was 30 years old. I don't think that it fully hit me until today that he was really gone. I didn't even cry until today. I read my cousin's blog (his sister) every single day. She has posted a lot of her feelings and todays made me feel like my guts were being pulled out through my belly button. I cannot imagine losing a sibling. I was thinking about that a lot today. My dad told me that two of Brent's brothers spoke at the funeral this morning. What a horrible thing to have to do at such a young age. Its not fair and should never happen but, it did. Brent was not active in the church but his family has some of the strongest members out there. What a blessing the perspective the gospel brings. I know that peace will eventually come for his family. They know the grand plan and that things will work out. But, that doesn't make it any easier right now. It pulls at my heart right now thinking about it. Brent was such a good person. He was an amazing brother, uncle, friend, son and cousin. He wasn't married and doesn't have kids. But what an amazing blessing he has been to his nieces and nephews.

I think that more than anything this whole experience has made me realize even more how important my family is to me. They are truly my best friends. My world would be over if I lost any of them. I am so grateful that some of the struggles I have had in the past with some of my siblings have passed by and we are friends again. I can't even think about what I would feel if I lost one of them and things weren't on good terms. I don't know how I would make it through that.

I feel like I am rambling.

My heart hurts, I just want to cry, and there is nothing else I can really say.