you know me?

I am in the same ward I was in last year. I like being in a place where I already know people and they know me. It is so much easier to meet the new people when I have a foundation of the people who aren't new. I think that this is my year. I feel it. This is the year I am going to have so much fun that I won't even be able to contain myself! I already feel like I have more friends than I have in a while. I feel more comfortable with who I am and where I am in life. Its nice to feel secure.

working out

I decided about a week and a half ago that I needed to seriously do something. I am tired of being out of shape and weighing about 15-20 pounds more than I want to. I talked to my cousin who has kind of become a self-appointed health guru and has actually had a lot of success herself and with quite a few other people she has helped. She gave me her "diet" plan. I don't really want to call it a diet because you really eat 6 times a day. I guess you would say its a new way of eating. I tried to do it last week but was STARVING all the time. Not because I wasn't eating enough but I think because I was thinking about food all the time. I decided to give it a go another time and actually do the working out thing how I know I am supposed to. I went running this morning and thought I was going to die. Partially because I have spent all summer at really low elevations and now I am up really high and it makes it hard to breathe and mostly because I am just really out of shape. I felt kind of pathetic.

But anyways, I am going to do it for reals. I am going to get into shape, eat right, and lose the weight I feel like I need to. I don't want people to tell me "oh, you're not fat... you don't need to lose weight... what are you worrying about" things like that. I know I am not obese, I know I am ok how I am. But, I want to to be HEALTHY. I want to be the weight I know I can be because that's what I used to be. I will get back to where I want to be and I will do it in a healthy way.

Now all I gotta do is pick a reasonable date and the weight and set the goal. Here we go...

New Year

next week i start my second year of teaching. i think i am ready. this summer has been amazing. i don't think that i have ever done so many fun things in one summer in my entire life. maybe i will write about them sometime when I don't already have something else i want to write about. today i have been thinking a lot about starting fresh. one of the things that i have decided that i really like about teaching is that with the new school year it feels like i get to start over and fresh. i get to start new on life and attitude and routine and i just like that feeling. i think my life is ready for a little structure again. this summer has been so full of doing whatever i want whenever i want that it is actually starting to get old. no one depends on me to do anything. no one notices if i even get out of bed in the morning. so i'm ready for some responsibility again. this year is going to rock. i feel way more confident going into teaching this time. all of the first year unknowns are gone and i love that! i will never again have to say that this is my first year. people cringe when they hear that it feels like. so hear hear to a new year. its gonna be awesome.

hello?

Does anyone ever even check this thing anymore? i think that i am going to try to start writing again.

more

I think that I want to start writing on here more. I have realized in the last couple of weeks/months that I LOVE reading people's blogs. I like reading about people I know but I like finding people's blogs I don't know and getting to know them too. It is strange, I read a couple of people's blogs that I have never met, don't know anything about in real life but I feel like they are my friends. I don't even know for sure if the name that they use is their real name. But, I love hearing what they have to say about their lives. I love hearing about how they deal with things and how they live life. When I think about it, their kids some day are going to love reading about their moms being normal people and going through trials and having fun and figuring life out. I want to write more. I want to have my personality on "paper". I want to leave something of myself behind.

Figuring it out

I decided yesterday that I am figuring my life out. When basketball ended I had way too much time on my hands and I was starting to go insane. I was bored all the time and felt like I didn't have very many friends. In the past week or so I have forced myself to find things to keep myself busy and I like it. a lot. I have started hanging out with new people and just having fun when I get home. I am enjoying my life again. It feels good.

Also, when I start feeling bad for myself all I have to do is listen to the people around me and I realize that my life isn't so bad.

Friends?

Apparently he doesn't understand what being friends mean. Apparently we can't be friends. Apparently he is an idiot.

Daniel has been dating a girl for a couple of weeks and how did I find out about it?? FACEBOOK! Of all the freaking ways to find out that someone who I thought was one of my good friends is dating someone... I cannot think of a more insulting way. I hear all about his trip that he took down to who knows where on this dumb plane. I mean ALL about it. Except, he forgets to mention that he had his GIRLFRIEND with him. Man that is frustrating.

I guess I even have to stop being his friend. Lame.