Uhh... this is going to be long.

I haven't been on here in a long long time. I have been too busy and I feel overwhelmed with how much has been going on in my life so I don't even know where to start. The last time I was on here I said that I was going to talk more about my birthday. Well, it came, it happened, and it left. I will talk more later. A few other things in my life: I bought a house, I went through the temple, I am one week away from finishing my 2nd year of teaching, I have learned more about myself and realized I am happy. So, I guess I am just going to go through things one at a time and see how far I get today.

My Birthday:
I went to work. A couple of my classes sang to me. It was sweet and nice of them. When I got home I worked out as fast as I could and then went to dinner. Me, Cassie, Amanda (roommate), Jordan (Amanda's fiance), Brock, and Tyson (both Jordan's roommates), Carrie and Tyson went to Craigos. It was delicious and I stuffed myself beyond belief. When we got back we were all so full that we just laid around for a while. Cassie and I played some cards and then Hilary and Jesse came over and we all had brownies and ice cream. It was a pretty good day. I still can't believe that I am 25. I realized that I have a lot of good friends. I got a lot of texts and phone calls and messages on facebook. It was a good birthday and I was happy.

Buying a house:
Ya, I bought a house. I still can't believe that it is mine. It is pretty close to where I lived before. I LOVE living here. It is a cute little house. It is just under 2000 square feet. Cassie and Carrie are living here with me and will continue to live here for next year. Also, a girl named Sasha is living here just for the summer. She is on the track team with Cassie. There are 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. Upstairs there is a family room, 2 of the bedrooms, a bathroom, and the kitchen. Carrie and Sasha live up here. Downstairs in the basement there are the other 2 bedrooms and the bathroom. Also, a family room and laundry room. Cassie and I are down there. I was a little nervous about how things were going to go with all of us living here and some of the problems from the recent past but so far things have been pretty good. I feel like Cassie and I have become better friends and I have learned things about myself and what is important to me. I bought some couches that I love. I have a lawn to mow, a house to take care of, bills to pay. I feel like a responsible adult. And, I must say, I like it. I like having direction in life. I like feeling like I am moving forward in a positive direction. I like my life and I like living here. I hope to post some pictures soon of my house. I want to remember how it felt moving into my first house.

The first night after I moved in I slept here alone. I asked Cassie and Carrie to wait to stay here cause I just wanted to be here and let it soak in that I was in my house. MY house. It felt surreal. It was pretty overwhelming when I was looking at houses and going through the process of finding one and making an offer and all that. At times I was feeling a little down because finding your first house and making that huge life changing decision is not one I ever intended on doing on my own. I always pictured myself doing all of this with a husband and with a family. I felt alone and scared. But, I felt good and at peace about it so I moved forward and I am so glad that I did. I am supposed to be here and in this stage in my life. It has been a good experience so far and I expect a lot of good memories to be made in this house.

The temple:
Last Saturday I went through the temple. I wrote a lot about it in my journal today so I am not going to write much about it here but it was so good. I was really nervous to go because the unknown is hard for me. My family came into town and went with me. It was so good. There is still a lot for me to learn and I don't know if it is possible to ever learn everything but the feeling is good there and I am so glad that I made the decision to go. It has added perspective to my life and added direction and focus.

Teaching:
Our last day of school is this Thursday. I can't believe that I am finishing my second year of teaching. I remember being in school thinking that I was never even going to make it to graduation and now I have been done for 2 years. This year has been good. I can't even believe how much better it is to teach your 2nd year than your 1st. I like being in a place where I know what is going on. I like knowing the people I work with and I like knowing the students already. I feel like I was a better teacher this year. There are still some things that I need to work on to be even better but I feel good about how this year has gone. I have had struggles. I have had unbelievably hard days and weeks. But, I have made it through. I have learned things about how to handle difficult kids. I have learned how to deal with difficult coworkers. It has been a good year. But, I couldn't be happier that it is ending. I need summer vacation bad. My patience is running out and my students are getting extra whiny and needy. I am excited we only have this week left.

Things I have learned:
I guess I already knew this about myself but I have realized even more lately how important good friendships are to me. I have always been one that more than anything I want to surround myself with people I love and care about and I know care about me and build me up and help me be a better person.

I have been able to talk to Jordan Munns more lately. I miss him and cherish the friendship we have had. I am glad that we have been talking more and I am glad we get to remain close.

For the first time in my life I have a best friend. Cassie Merkley is the best friend that I have ever had. The other day I was thinking about the friends I have had in my life who I have considered to be my "best friends" along with other people I thought a lot about Daniel. He and the others were all really good friends. We cared about each other. Knew a lot about each other. Liked doing the same things. Had a lot of fun together. But, with mine and Cassie's friendship, it is more than that. I guess the difference between everyone else and Cassie is that our friendship is more balanced. Before, I have always felt like I cared more than the other person and that I put more of myself into the friendship than the other person. But I know Cassie genuinely cares. She is there for me no matter what. A couple of months ago I remember I was laying in bed after just having a conversation with Cassie about a fireside I had just been to. I shared my most inner and personal thoughts with her and we had a discussion about it. I couldn't believe after she left how comfortable and open I had been with her. I don't think that's happened with a girl and me ever. I sent her a text and I want to always remember it so I am going to type it in here because it really described my feelings at the time and now. "how undescribably grateful I am to have a friend that I feel comfortable enough with who I can truly trust my most personal thoughts and feelings and know there is no judging and no fear of betrayal and that even though complete understanding may not always be there I know you are there no matter what and that you always truly care. I cannot describe my feelings and thoughts right now. I am just so overwhelmed with gratitude for you have truly been a friend unlike any I have ever had. I will be eternally grateful for all you have done for me. I love you and I thank you for who you are and who you help me be." I am a better person because she is my friend and I couldn't be happier to have met her and become her friend.

Well, there is a lot more I could write about but I think that's all I have for now. I am going to try to write more on here especially this summer as I have more time to do more things for myself. But, mostly I guess I want to just convey that right now, my life is good. I feel good about things. I like how things are going. I am happy. And that is worth more to me than anything in the world.